Daedric Princes Reads Fan Mail!
by Robin1996ify
Summary: In which all Daedric Princes reads their letters from their fans. Weird moments and chaos ensues! Rated T for any inappropriate words. And grammar. And a few SheogorathXNocturnal moments.. And my appearance in this fic. And Teen Titans crossover.. Meh.
1. Chapter 1

AUTHOR NOTE: This fanfic was created for humor purpose and..

Sheogorath: CHEESE!

Me: What the..? GET OUT FROM MY MONOLOGUE!

Sheogorath: (pouted)

DISCLAIMER: I didn't own Elder Scrolls! Those are belonged to the Divines! I mean.. Bethesda!

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Chapter 1: Daedric Princes and their fan mail..

"Who are you again?" Azura asked. A slight of annoyance can be heard from her tone.

"Me? I'm your fans!" The girl in front of Azura said. She wore a plain T-shirt with casual jeans. To Azura, she's looked weird… ".. and I'm here to help you!"

"Help me on what?" Azura asked. Somehow looked confused at what the girl said and scared at what inside the giant box behind her.

Since when they have a giant box?

"Help you to read your fan mails!" The girl quickly poured a large stacks of letters to Azura's face. "..D'oh!"

Meridia, who was walking past them, quickly ran toward Azura, who was now buried alive under the stack of letters.

"What in Oblivion was that? Oh! Fan mails.." Meridia muttered. Then she looked to a very innocent fan girl standing beside the stack of letters.

"How do you know about that?" Azura yelled, after she successfully 'swam' away from the letters.

"Seriously Azura? You don't know that _we_ have many fans around the world?" Meridia replied, searching through the letters. " Even Malacath have one!"

"Wha..?"

"You really need to pay attention around the internet then.." Meridia then pulled out a stack of her fan mail. "Oh look! I have one!"

"Read it! Read it!" The girl screamed in a fan girl way.. "Oh wait! How about I filmed you, while you reads your fan mail?" The girl then pulled out her video recorder from her pocket.

"You can't just commanded us like that! We're Daedric Princes!" Azura yelled, but quickly been silenced by Meridia.

"That's a great idea!" Meridia exclaimed, then she glared to Azura. " Without our fans, what should we do without our power?"

"You mean.." Azura's eyes widened in horror.

"Our power based of how many worshipper we have. Fans are also our worshipper.. Without them, we will become just like those Aedra. Can't influence in Nirn."

"I thought our counterparts has their own worshipper?"

"Worshippers and fans are different, Azura.." Meridia then reads her fan mail.

_Dear Meridia,_

_I love your Dawnbreaker! And your quest! And.. well, everything about you! Everytime I played TES, I always do your quest first! Then I do the main quest, hehe.. _

_P.S: I also hate the undead too! They're creepy and gross! What should I do when I've got bitten by them? Should I go to the doctor or cut off my arm?_

_Sincerely,_

_Amber._

"Ooh! I love you too, Amber. And as for the bite.. just burn off the bite mark instead! It'll help" Meridia said to the camera. Azura then looked to the girl, who was filmed that.

"I never catch your name.. " Azura muttered. "What's your name?"

"My name? I'm Ify! " The girl said, smiling.

"O..kay?" Azura then took a step back from Ify.

"Azura! Your turn!" Meridia said, tossed a piece of letter to Azura.

_Dear Azura,_

_Who is the youngest? You or Nocturnal? _

_And I also got your Star back! It took me a few hours to defeat a hoards of necromancer though.._

_From The_ Random_ Adventurer_

"That would be me.. " Azura said, nervously. " Why people keep mistaken me as the eldest is always made me confuse.. And you just got my Star back from those necromancers? Thanks!" She exclaimed in front of the camera.

"MALACATH! You've got a letter!" Meridia exclaimed. A loud steps can be heard throughout the room.

"Really? From who?" Malacath said, snatch the letter from Meridia's hand.

"Your fans.. "

"I HAVE FANS? OH SWEET!" He exclaimed, gave everyone a toothy grin. Which disgusted Ify in the process..

_Hi Malacath!_

_I have a problem while tried to defeat a giant. Should I,_

_- Smash it with my axe_

_- Distract it to the dragon_

_- Run away?_

_From Axe- Wearer_

"Well, Axe- Wearer –nice name by the way- You could smash the giant with your axe, which depends how strong your axe is. If dragon was flying nearby, you could just distract it to the dragon instead. I do NOT suggesting you to run away! Except if you are a Khajiit or an Elf. " Malacath said. "Or you could always sacrifice your follower –if you have one- to the giant, and run away." Malacath said, still grinning.

Azura, Meridia, and Ify face palmed.

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AUTHOR NOTE: I hope you find this story quite funny, cause there's gonna be the next chapter!

Also, don't be hesitated to post your question, or fan mail to your favorite Daedric Prince through Review. They will answer it.

Please Review!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: More Fan mails, Cheese, and… Fan gay?

"So, while we reads our fan mails, she will taped us on video?" Mephala said, nudged to Ify, who were annoyed because Sanguine just spilled some wine onto her shirt.

Her favorite Teen Titans shirt…

"Yeah.. now I will give each of you your letter from your fans. " Azura replied, while she's handed the letters.

"HOORAY! I'VE GOT A LETTER!" Sheogorath exclaimed with his usual cheery grins, before he get slapped by Clavicus Vile.

"Don't shout near my ears!"

"Okay.. I guess it's my turn to read.." Mephala said.

_Mephala,_

_Why do you have four arms like Mehrunes Dagon? _

_P.S: Do you also like Spiderman?_

_From: Peter_

" It's complicated. And sometimes I've been wondered about that. "She then looked to Hermaeus Mora, with a questioned looks. " And I also like Spiderman. But not too much."

"My turn!" Molag Bal said, quickly unwrapped the envelope. "It said; 'My name is Alexander Avalon Adams.." When Molag reads the next, it confused him. " ' I am a gay..' "

Everyone face palmed. Namira quickly broke the silence. ".. hmm, I guess this is more like a confession letter."

Molag was about to agree with Namira, when he looked to the next sentences. And it's not a very _nice _fan mail..

_I, Alex, found you very irresistible in with those horns!_

_I would love to chain you down and lick your sexy abs.. oh, la, la._

Molag Bal was about to puke on the last part. He then looked to Ify, in horror.

"Well, you are the Daedric Prince of Rape, right?" Ify said, innocently.

"Molly? Can I have this Alex guy in my realm? He sounded very _maddening_!" Sheogorath exclaimed. Nocturnal gave him a surprised looks.

"JUST TAKE HIM! I'm not his dad or something!" Molag Bal yelled, looked very disturbed. "I'm not gonna read this letter anymore!"

"My turn then.." Hircine said. Hoping that he didn't get some 'disturbing' letter like the one Molag got.

_Dear Hircine,_

_What am I supposed to do when I accidentally shoot my friend's kneecap with my arrow?_

_By the way, you looked awesome in those stag's mask!_

_Sincerely,_

_Roy Harper_

" Started practicing to hunt. It seemed like you've got some talent in archery. And thank you for complimenting my mask." Hircine replied. He then sighed in relief that he didn't get some 'disturbed' letter after all.

"This is BOOORRING! Is there no more 'crazy' fan mail for us? Molly, read Alex's letter again!" Sheogorath yelled.

"NO!"

"Sheogorath? Are you gay or something?" Sanguine asked. Nocturnal immediately looked to Sheogorath, hoping that his answer is 'no'…

Why she's care about that anyway?

"What? Of course not!" Sheogorath replied. Nocturnal sighed in relief.

"But maybe I am.." He added. Nocturnal felt like her heart was stopped beating after hearing that answer.

"But mostly no. I am damn straight!" Nocturnal silently fainted in joy…

Meridia looked to Clavicus Vile. "Your turn, Vile."

"Okay!" He then reads his fan mail.

_Hey Vile!_

_Have you seen my toothbrush?_

_Sincerely,_

_Teeth Guy_

Clavicus Vile sweat dropped at this..

"MY TURN! WHEEEE!" Sheogorath exclaimed. Pushed Vile away from the camera.

_Sheogorath, _

_You looked sweet with those purple- orange jacket. You know, we've both have two things in common._

_One, we've both like cheese_

_Two, we've both crazy_

_Would you be my boyfriend?_

_Sincerely,_

_Rebecca_

"Of course I want to be your boyfriend!" Sheogorath replied. Nocturnal silently sneaked outside from the room.

Nobody realized or even hear an anonymous anguish cries from the outside, despite the fact how very loud it sound..

"Actually, I don't like you, Rebecca. I'm more to a dark girl type." Sheogorath continued. Nocturnal, who was just came out from the outside, hear his answer, then quickly goes outside again.

Nobody hear or even realized an anonymous blissful shout from the outside, despite the fact how very loud it sound..


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Mythic Dawn Hater, Mercer fans, and Impostor!

After Nocturnal return from her 'non suspiciously shout' from outside, the Daedric Princes continued their fan mail reading.

"I know that I'm the main antagonist in TES IV, but seriously.. HOW COME I HAVE NO FAN MAIL?" Mehrunes Dagon yelled. Everyone glares at him, except Sheogorath.

"Jyggalag is also antagonist too! He destroyed my realm!" Sheogorath exclaimed.

"He's antagonist on DLC, Sheo. " Peyrite said. "Dagon, I've found your letter." He then pulled out Dagon's letter from the fan mail bags.

"Just give me that!"

_To Mehrunes Dagon,_

_Every time __i__ have to fight you off in oblivion__,__ my crush on you grows just a little. So naturally in skyrim ill totally kill the __weird__ dawn dude.  
P__.__S__:__ never wear a shirt_

_From: dawntredder_

Ify gave a weird look to her camera. "Seriously? "

Dagon cleared his throat. " Ehm.. I don't know that I should take that as a compliment or not. And if you're talking about one of my follower named Silus Vesuius, just kill him! He's annoyed me!"

"How annoying this Silus guy is?" Sanguine asked.

"He made a museum about my cult! I thought I already told them to keep the Mythic Dawn in secret!" Dagon then looked to the camera. "And if you succeed, I shall rewarded you with my Mehrunes Razor, dawntredder."

"..The most boring name for your artifact, ever!" Sheogorath complained. Dagon cast him an anger glares.

"My turn.." Nocturnal said, calmly. Or tried to calm, as she saw Sheogorath accidentally spilled his wine to his jacket.

"I just soaked my jacket! Get it? Soaked my jacket?" Sheogorath laughed at his attempt to joke. "Oh well.. I guess I have to take off my jacket.." With that, he took off his jacket. He continued drinking his wine, topless.. "You know? Maybe I should keep shirtless, this place is hot!"

"I just realized that you're skinny, Sheo." Sanguine chuckled.

"What? But I looked good, right?" Sanguine just shook his head, still laughing.

Nocturnal blushed red at shirtless Sheogorath. _" I wonder what he's looks like without his pants.." _She then mentally slapped herself. _"WHAT AM I THINKING? I'm not a pervert! "_

"Eh? Nocturnal? Your turn?" Ify said.

"Oh right.." Nocturnal then read her fan mail, but still steal a glances on shirtless Sheo..

_Nocturnal,_

_Are u in love with sheo? Because there are tons of stories with that and im wondering what youll do if u had to read this in front of sheo. By the way i refuse to kill mercer! Hes too bad ass..._

_Sincerely,_

_Shadowy traitor_

Nocturnal jaw dropped, everyone face palmed, and Sheogorath shocked. Ify then break the silence. "What's your answer?"

"No, I'm not in love with Sheogorath." Nocturnal said, completely lied. She suddenly realized that Sheogorath looked.. devastated? She mentally shook her head as she thought that she's must be dreaming or something.

"As about Mercer.. If you didn't kill him, then at least you can just pick pocketing my Skeleton Key from his pocket. If you want.."

"That was the best name for your artifact, ever!" Sheogorath exclaimed. Nocturnal smiled, I mean real smiled _genuinely._.

"What about Dawnbreaker? That was the coolest name I ever think of!" Meridia yelled. Everyone ignored her.

"So.. is it my turn?" Vaermina asked. Everyone nodded to her.

_Vaermina,_

_Since you are the Daedric Prince of Dream, can I ask you something? I have a very bad boy, who keep bullied me. Could you send him a really, really scary nightmare to his head? Please?_

_From: The Revenger_

"I'll do it." Vaermina then summoned her Skull of Corruption. "But I have to go back to my realm." After saying that, she disappeared.

"Again, THIS IS BOOORING! " Sheogorath said, accidentally spilled his wine to his skinny chest. "And I wish for some chest hair.." Sheogorath said, examining his –non muscular- chest. "No ladies will ever get attracted to me.."

But Nocturnal _do_ attracted to Sheogorath's shirtless form..

"I just realized something." Azura said. "It seems that Nocturnal have way more fan mails than us.."

It's true. Nocturnal's fan mails are in two giant mail bags…

"That's ridiculous! How come Nocturnal can have more fans than us? I mean seriously! She's the most mysterious Daedric Prince!" Namira complained.

"Nocturnal is the most popular Daedric Prince, according from the fan site. Sheogorath is the second, followed by Azura in third." Ify said, opened her laptop. "…And Namira is the least favorite Daedric Prince.."

Namira then threw a sofa into Ify head.

"Hey! Don't do that! " She's yelled.

"Nocturnal, how about you read another letter?" Meridia asked. Nocturnal nodded.

_To Nocturnal,_

_Are you some sort of an impostor of my daughter? Seriously, with those black hood and those two ravens and those dark power, you looks like it. I don't like an impostor. I will find you and I will annihilate you. And then, I will take over the EARTH! I mean… look at the time, I have to go!_

_P.S : Wanna go on a date?_

_Sincerely, _

_Trigon the Teribble._

Ify suddenly snatched the letter from Nocturnal's hands and quickly ripped it. "Don't. Even. Ask.."

Nocturnal sweat drooped at her…

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AUTHOR NOTE: Please review!


	4. Chapter 4

AUTHOR NOTE: Not all fan mail from your Review can be shown in the chapter.

P.S: Who doesn't like SheoXNoc pairings?

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Chapter 4: This is INSANE!

Sanguine feels annoyed. No single fan mails for him! Heck, Malacath had one!

"Is everyone hate me or something? Why I didn't receive any letters?" He said, fuming. Everyone looked at him.

Meridia was examined the letter bags, tried to find at least one letter for Sanguine, she ignored his fuming.

"I'm pretty sure there is one for you.." Mephala said, tries to comforted Sanguine. He gave her a glares.

Sheogorath laughed madly. "Keep grumpy like that, and you will have your head explode!" He then examined his –non muscular- chest (he's shirtless, remember?). "I really wish for some tattoo or some hair for my chest, no ladies will like to lay their head in my skinny chest.." Sheogorath said, sadly.

Nocturnal was imagined about her licking Sheogorath's chest… And she was blushed on that thought.

"I found one for you!" Meridia exclaimed, reached out the letter.

"Finally!" Sanguine suddenly forget about his grumpiness..

_Dear Sanguine,_

_WHY DID YOU GET ME DRUNK? hmmmm? IT WAS THE MOST FUN I'VE EVER HAD! I'm surprised that I hadn't done it sooner. We should do it again sometime because you are the BEST!_

_ P.S. Can I call you Sammy? ;) _

_P.S.S. Tell Sheo that I said 'CHEESE FOR EVERYONE' and that he doesn't need chest hair! Love you all! _

_Winter_

"I just love messing around with mortals! They're like a puppet that you can control! And ONLY Mephala can call me Sammy! " Sanguine replied. Then he looked to Sheogorath. "She (or he?) said that you don't need some chest hair, Sheo!"

Sheogorath annoyed. "How come I looked so skinny! All of you are muscular and doughty!"

"You need to exercise more." Molag Bal replied, stretched his big arms.

"My turn." Hermaeus Mora said, floating between Sheogorath and Molag.

_Hermaeus Mora,_

_I think you're the coolestest librarian ever, I simply love your world "apocrypha" an endless library. I think my mind overloaded when you first apeared and introduced yourself. In all honesty I'd like to have a drink with you sometime. It should be fun._

_P.S. anyone's invited!_

_SilentDragonFly_

Hermaeus rolled his eyes (or blobs). "SilentDragonFly, you need to check your grammar first. Second, thank you for complimenting my realm. If Miraak can clean some slimes around Apocrypha more often, I do like to have a drink with you." He(or it) replied.

"My friend would love to be in your realm!" Ify exclaimed. "She's always sarcastic, though.." Hermaeus looked at Ify, weirdly.

"Sheogorath! I found a letter for you!" Meridia exclaimed, tossing the letter to him.

_Dear Sheogorath, _

_Can we be insane together, and like go into Verminas' mind and screw with EVERYTHING and make it awesome? Cuz I think it would be fun. PLEEEEAASSSE!?_

_Fox_

"Of course I do! Vaermina really need some madness in her head!" Sheogorath exclaimed. "But, I've been banned from her head since what happened last month.. "

**Flashback:**

**Vaermina glared to Sheogorath, after she looked to her realm, Quagmire. The realm that used to be scary, with lightings strikes in every place, was now been eaten by a gigantic, rainbow Grummite. **

"**SHEOGORAAAAATHHH!" **

**End of Flashback**

Everyone gave Sheogorath a weird looks.

"Good thing that Vaermina wasn't here now." Azura said, broke the silence. Everyone nodded at her. "Hircine, it's your turn now."

_Hircine,_

_You know how I now turn into a big dog? Well why do I suddenly have urges to chew on:_

_-Tables_

_-Bones_

_-Shoes_

_-My clothes, all of them..._

_-Dog toys such as Vigilance's toy ball_

_-Rope_

_And then now whenever I pass Khajiit I feel an urge to chase them, none of the other companions have this well except Farkas but that goes unsaid. How do I fix it?_

_Sincerely,_

_Dragonveiw_

Hircine scratched the back of his head, in confusion. "That's odd. I don't remember lycanthropy have side effects before. Except my follower, Farkas, I understand that side effects affected him because he's stupid. You have a dog, right? Maybe because your dog's hormones accidentally contracted to you. "

"I wonder what I look like if I was a werewolf.." Sheogorath muttered. Nocturnal suddenly nose bleed because she was thinking about Sheogorath becoming a very SEXY werewolf..

No one notice her nose bleeding, despite the fact how messy the room is because Nocturnal's bloods.

Ify cleaned her laptop from Nocturnal's blood. "I can't believe how many views in my video! They seemed to like you all more!"

"MORE FANS FOR EVERYONE!" Sheogorath yelled. "For a 10000000th fans that send a letter to me will get my naked picture!" Everyone gave Sheogorath a weird looks.

Nocturnal silently teleported away to her realm, prepared to write a disguised 10000000th letter for Sheogorath…

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AUTHOR NOTE: I loved writing this! And I think I make Nocturnal too shy…

What do you think?

Review!


	5. Chapter 5

AUTHOR NOTE: Thank you for supporting me for this fic!

For those SheoXNoc fans out there, I give you… THIS CHAPTER!

For those who also a Teen Titans fans like me, PLUCK YOUR EYES! Hehehe…

For those.. What the heck, JUST ENJOY THIS STORY!

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Chapter 5: Poor Nocturnal.., Spell Book, and DEMON!

All Daedric Princes were enjoyed their cupcakes, Ify was uploading her new 'Daedric Princes Reads Fan Mails' video, and Sheogorath was looking for Nocturnal.

Why he's looked for her anyway?

Vaermina finally appeared after she 'create' a nightmare for a poor boy's mind (from chapter 3). "Any new fan mail for me?"

"As the matter of fact, it is." Azura tossed the letter to her.

_Dear Vaermina,_

_Why don't you give me dreams? even nightmares? WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME!?_

_P.S Nocturnal can i borrow Mercer? i need a test subject for my 'experiments'_

_Love,_

_Aimee Wolv (also known as that random crazy person and The Author.)_

Vaermina twitching her eyes. "Reason why? Because… YOU'RE CRAZY GIRL!" She then ripped off the letter. "Where's Nocturnal anyway?"

As on cue, Nocturnal suddenly appeared, her hood was covered with black inks.. "Sorry I'm late.. I just realized that I can't write a letter in a dark."

Vaermina sweat dropped. "Oh.. kay? Well, one of the fans wants to know that can you letting her using your Mercer Frey for her 'experiments', whatever that is.."

"He's not my Nightingale anymore. So yeah, she (or he?) can use him.." Nocturnal replied, with a venom on her tone. Sheogorath suddenly appeared behind her and.. HUGS HER!

"NOCTY! (A/N: Like my nickname for Nocturnal?) I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONE!" Sheogorath exclaimed. He suddenly realized what he had done, released his hugs from Nocturnal, then walks away, whistling innocently, while he tried to cover his blushes..

Ify gave him a weird looks. "Well, that's odd.." But she shrugged it off, as she found another letter for Nocturnal. "Nocturnal! I found a letter for you!"

_To Nocturnal, Daedric Prince of Darkness,_

_I'm sorry about Trigon's - my dad- letter to you. He's kinda super annoying and evil if you ask me. Have you seen him? He's suddenly disappeared when my team and I tries to kick his ass back into Hell.._

_And I've sensed something not right. This letter to you it's just an early warning. If you see my dad, well.. you better run.._

_P.S: To Ify, _

_Did you steal my Spell book of Azarath? IMA GOIN TO KILL YOU!_

_Sincerely,_

_Raven_

Everyone gave Ify a weird looks. So do with Nocturnal.

"What? I need some spell to conjure a portal to your universe!" Ify said, sheepishly.

"That can explained how in Oblivion you can get into our realms.." Meridia muttered.

Nocturnal looked to Sheogorath. Is it her or did Sheogorath looked.. deeply worried?

"Why are looking at me like that?" She asked.

"Why do you disappeared earlier?" Sheo remarked.

"Wait, why are you looking for me!" She stepped up.

"Why do you look so pretty in your black robe!" So did he.

"Why do you look so cute with those beard!" Closer.

"Why do you have cool indigo eyes!" Clooossseeerr..

"Why do you have alluring golden cat eyes!" Cloooossseeerrr…

"Why are you so shy around me!"

"Why are you so protective around me!"

"Why do you have to be so wise and beautiful to me!"

"Beautiful?" Nocturnal squeaked. Now their noses were touching. Their eyes widened. Their cheeks were now red. Their hearts were beating like crazy. If only there's a mistletoe, hanging above them…

The other Daedric Princes didn't notice that Nocturnal and Sheogorath's faces were… one cm at each other..

Even Ify, who was covered with cupcake frostings, didn't notice that either.

Sheogorath suddenly broke the awkward silence. "Ehm.. I'll be outside if you need me.." With that, he walked away.

Poor Nocturnal.. She's almost kiss him!

Azura looked to Mehrunes Dagon. "You've got another letter for you."

_MEHRUNES DAGON!_

_Are you a demon? Coz you looks like it._

_P.S: Tell Molag Bal that his Mace looks awesome!_

_From: Billy_

Dagon looks confused. "What is a 'demon'?"

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AUTHOR NOTE: Hope you like this chapter! For the next chapter, I need more SheoXNoc fan mails! Yeah! Because, the next chapter is about SheoXNoc fluffiness!

Or not.

WILL THEY KISS?

Find out on the next chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

AUTHOR NOTE: Guess what? I just uploaded this chapter!

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Chapter 6: Be brave, Burned fan mail, and Dark!

Somehow, Ify manages to disappeared. But, at least she left her camera on.

Azura got herself her letter. "My turn!"

_To Azura,_

_MREEOW MEONG MIAOW MRIEEOOW MMAAOWW MMEEWWW MRRROOOOOWW MMRRAAOOWW MEOW!_

_From Grumpy Cat_

_P.S: Sorry! My cat somehow managed to take over my hand!_

Everyone sweat dropped. Mephala decided to burn off any fan mail that doesn't make sense at all. Starting with 'Grumpy Cat' letter.

"What kind of idiot who let their cat to write their own letter!" Mephala said, burned off some 'unnecessary' letters.

Meridia found a letter, but she's immediately burned it. Namira gave a questioned looks.

"It's from a group of zombies.." Meridia answered. Everyone sweat dropped again.

"Can we at least receives some normal fan mail!" Molag Bal yelled. Mephala and Meridia nodded. It seems that most of their fans already knew about skooma, or under Sheogorath's influences…

"I just found a letter to me." Hermaeus Mora said, calmly and.. slowly.

_To Hermaus Mora: Lord of secrets:_

_I would like to say that I thoroughly enjoyed retrieving your artifact. However, I must confess that I may or may not have discovered and exploited a glitch which allows infinite uses of the Oghma Infinium. Suffice to say, all my skills are now level one hundred and I have memorized the book. I hope you are not offended by this use of your sacred tome. On the subject of skills, I would like to note that I don't seem to have enough perks for all my skills. I was wondering if you had a black book that could help me with that. At any rate, I would like to thank you for incredible quest(s) and reward(s)._

_Sincerely:_

_Pr0d1gy104: Your mortal champion and bearer of the Oghma Infinium._

_(P.S. Would it be possible to create a portal to Apocrypha within my abode in Falkreath? If so, please explain how or come and create it yourself: whichever pleases you most master.)_

"I know about that glitch. And of course, I'm not offended. And no, even my black book can't help you with your perks problem. Your perks already programmed by those developers in Bethesda, so you can't unlock all of your traits. And don't thanked me. Thanks Bethesda for that quests. But the rewards are mostly from me. And I didn't think about creating a portal to Apocrypha outside Morrowind yet. I'm too busy.." Hermaeus replied, in the longest reply ever!

"Busy of what? Decorating your bookshelves?" Mephala insulted. Hermaeus shoot a glares to her.

"That's not nice to speak like that to your brother, Mephala."

"And what are you going to do? Hit me?"

Mehrunes Dagon watched the scene with delight. Molag and Clavicus making a bet with Boethiah. Meridia, Peyrite and Azura attempted to stop Mephala from hitting Hermaeus.. glob? Namira being bitchy as usual. Vaermina, Hircine, and Malacath just return back to their realms. No one seen Sheogorath and Nocturnal anywhere, or nobody cares about them at all.

Sanguine just being drunk in the corner, enough said..

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_Meanwhile, at outside of the room.._

Ify was walked through Azura's garden, not noticing Sheo and Nocturnal was sitting there, looked away from each other as they were shy, not because they were angry.

Sheogorath looked to Nocturnal, shyly. So do her. But no words came from their mouths. They looked away again, blushed red.

Ify was busily speaking with her friend on her phone, so she didn't notice Sheogorath and Nocturnal at all.

"Look Raven, if you likes Beast Boy, don't be a coward. I mean really? You threw him into the bottom of the ocean, just because he said he loves you? No! He's not annoying! You just thinking that he is annoying! Eh heh? What? Who said that? Robin? Bah! Screw him! I know you are dark girl at all, and being emotionally is bad for you because of your power, but that doesn't mean you can't date a guy who's way brighter than you, right? And no! Don't date that Goth Boy! He's way too dark for you! You already dark! Why you need more darkness in your life?" Ify yelled to her phone. She didn't notice that Nocturnal glances at her.

Without Ify realized, she just gave some advice to Nocturnal..

She then looked to Sheogorath. He looked so _bright _for her. His personalities, his grins, his.. everything. Will he loves her? Her being too opposite from him?

Suddenly, she remembered what Ify said to her phone, '_I know you are dark girl at all, but that doesn't mean you can't date a guy who's way brighter than you'_

Ify finally realized that Sheogorath and Nocturnal was near her. "Oh! Nocturnal, I've found a fan mail for you!" She tossed the letter to her, and immediately goes back inside.

Sheogorath eyed to the letter on her hand. "Go on, open it." He said, surprisingly _sane. _Nocturnal looked to Sheogorath, then decided to read her letter.

_Dear Nocturnal,_

_Why do you like Sheograth? You should really tell him how you feel! Also, you're not the nicest Daedra, I prefer...oh what's his name? Oh yes! Hermaous Mora! But your pretty cool, and you gave me some sweet armor and a nifty key! Tell the rest of your Daedra friends hi for me!_

_Sincerely,_

_MissFabulous09_

"Would you answer it?" Sheogorath said, leaned closer to Nocturnal. She thought about to pushed him away, but she found out that being extremely closer with him is.. _comfortable._ Nocturnal looked to him, her face was now close to his.

"I thought you already know the answer.." After said that, she pulled him closer to her and.. KISS HIM!

* * *

AUTHOR NOTE: Hope you enjoyed it! Those who likes Teen Titans as much as I do, probably could guess the reference in this chapter.

REVIEW!


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Wolv RAMPAGE! And chaos too!

Yesterday, we learned a very valuable lesson, which is..

The fact that Ify likes to scolding her friend through her cell phone!

Nah, just kidding. On to the story, shall we?

* * *

Meridia still busy burning the 'unnecessary letters'. Namira off to feast some human flesh, much for Meridia dislikes. Vaermina, Hircine, and Malacath already return back to their realms. Mephala and Hermaeus Mora were tied up to each other by Azura and Peyrite. Mehrunes Dagon collected the winning bet money from Clavicus, Molag, and Boethiah. Sanguine looked to everyone, fascinated. Ify still on her phone, scolded her friend..

No one cares or even looking for Sheogorath and Nocturnal whereabouts..

"Okay.. that's the last uncensored letter. Now, who wants to read another fan mail?" Meridia asked, still covered with ashes. Everyone in the room raised their hands. Ify still on her phone, but at least she kind enough to let Azura operated her camera… Probably..

"Here's one for you, Peyrite." Meridia tossed the letter.

_Dear Peyrite._

_OH! ARE YOU READING THIS?! HOLY SHIT IF YOU ARE! THEN I'M ON FAN-MAIL, COOLL! AHHH!_

_YAAYYYY!_

_HI, MOM!_

_Shane_

Peyrite scratched the back of his head with his tail. "Ehm.. glad to help you.."

Everyone laughing. Azura snickered. Then suddenly, she remembered something. Something important!

"HOHSNAP! I FORGOT TO WATER MY ROSE GARDEN!" With that, she hurriedly off to outside. Meridia now in charge with the camera.

"Too bad Hircine isn't here. He will probably 'help' Azura with her 'flower'" Sanguine snickered, but immediately get slapped by Mephala, I mean _kicked_ by Mephala, since her four hands was tied up with Mora's..

Everyone knows about Hircine 'little' crush on Azura. But they didn't know about Nocturnal 'secret' crush on Sheogorath…

Coz you know, secret at all?

"Hey! It's my turn now! Hope I didn't get another 'toothbrush' letter!" Clavicus yelled, while opened his letter.

_Dear Clavicus Vile,_

_so i got dis prob. my stomach wuz hurtin and so den i go to the bathroom and then i saw my underwear had a brown n red spot._

_wuts happening._

_i only 12 and a girl. whut_

_From Angelina_

Clavicus slowly put down the letter, then stared to the camera, "Well.. ask your mom.. Because, I'm not telling you, weirdo!"

That was awkward. And the weirdness continued to the outside, where Azura was stood in front of her garden, jaw dropped, and stared to her now destroyed rose garden. She kneeled down and..

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooOOOOooooOOOOOOooo!"

Apparently, Sheogorath and Nocturnal were making out in the garden and cause a bit of havoc in there.. And they teleported away to Sheogorath's realms for… a make love section…

Azura then burned down her garden and started to rebuild a new one.

* * *

_Back to the inside.._

Ify done scolded her friend from her phone, so now she's back in her camera, and her laptop.

"So.. anything funny going on in here?" Ify asked, tinkered her camera.

"Funny? No. Stupid? Yes.." Clavicus grumbled. Sanguine laughed. Mephala snickered.

* * *

_Meanwhile, at Vaermina's realm of nightmare.._

Vaermina was busy created a new kind of nightimare with her staff. When suddenly, a blast of portal appeared in front of her.

A dark chocolate brown haired girl stepped out from the portal. She had darker eyes, a really pale skin, and her hair was down to her waist. She wore a red shirt, written in black words. It say;

'_I HATE YOU, VAERMINA! '_

'_OH HI! SHEO!'_

Something like that.. She was also brought her spiky bloody mace. Vaermina looked the girl in front of her, in horror.

"Who are you?" Vaermina asked, took cover in her throne seat.

"Me? I am Amanda Iris Magenta Ester Elizabeth Wanda Onyx Luna Veronica, otherwise known as AIMEE WOLV! MWAHHAHAHA! " Aimee laughed maniacally. "And I'm here.. Because you called me crazy and didn't give me some dreams! Or even nightmares!"

Vaermina screamed in terror as Aimee slashed her with her AWESUM mace.

* * *

AUTHOR NOTE: See what I did there? I just messed up this chapter..

REVIEW! Or Aimee will chase you!


	8. Chapter 8

AUTHOR NOTE: I realized something! That it was supposed to pronounce 'Peryite', not 'Peyrite'!

OOHHHH SHHIIII*censored*

Never mind..

* * *

Chapter 8: A fan mail for Everyone!

Sheogorath and Nocturnal finally returned back from their… ehm.. 'Cleaning each other throat'(whatever that means). Sheo's jacket was upside down, his hair was messy, and Nocturnal's robes left sleeve was missing..

Well, the other Princes didn't even bother to ask what happen or even realized that Sheogorath and Nocturnal were gone like.. 2 hours ago?

Meh..

Ify and Meridia were watching a cute cats video on laptop. They didn't do anything harmless, unlike Mehrunes Dagon who began to attack Molag Bal and Boethiah with no apparent reason..

"Okay! I found a really good fan mail! This one is for ALL of us!" Meridia said, still in front of the laptop. "Ooh.. that ginger cat looked adorable.."

_to everyone._

_whoever governs magic, YOU'RE AWESOME! please let me in to your realm..._

_sheo, your TES IV quest is amazing, teach me how to summon flaming dogs, cos i am as crazy as you!_

_nocturnal, how do i become the nightingale?_

_everyone else, STAY COOL!_

_From: Snarfle_

"Eeh.. technically, we all governs magic.." Peryite said. "And we TOTALLY awesome!"

"Okay? Anyone wants this 'Snarfle guy' in your realms?" Meridia asked. Everyone said no. ".. Sorry, that's what everyone answer.." She said to the camera.

"I shall send you my Spell Tome: Summon Flamming Dogs!" Sheogorath said, snapped his finger.

* * *

Somewhere in Mortal world, a spell tome fallen to a guy's head.

"OMG! THANKS SHEO!" Snarfle exclaimed to the sky.

* * *

"Hm.. If you want to be my Nightingale, you must appealed me first or you can either be chosen by my other Nightingale." Nocturnal replied.

"Hey! There's another fan mail for you, Molag!" Meridia exclaimed, tossed the letter to Molag Bal.

_To my Lord and Master Molag Bal,_

_Thanks for the mace, me-lord! It's totally wicked and full of win! And between my many adventures I do stop by Markarth to take care of the house._

_P.S. I imagine there's a slab of ice cold marble involved for when you cristen daughters of cold harbor. Is this accurate and may I submit? ;3_

_Sincerely,_

_Nori-239_

"Ah.. Someone who finally did my quest!" Molag Bal said. "I thought it would be another letter from.. that 'Alex guy'.."

"He's maddening! You should write him a reply!" Sheogorath exclaimed. Molag Bal glared to him.

"First of all, thank you for complimenting my mace. Second, thank you for taking care the house. Third, you have to be a baby first if you want to be christen by me." Molag replied to the camera.

Azura finally appeared, after taking care all.. I mean ALL of her roses. "What do I missed?"

"A few letters." Mephala replied, still tied up to Hermaeus Mora. "Get me off from him!"

"Later, after you be nice to your brother.." Namira said, coldly. Mephala scowled.

Sheogorath and Nocturnal were cuddling at each other. Looked comfortable.

"That was sweet." Sanguine commented, taking another sip to his mead.

"Hey! There's another letter! But, it's for you, Ify?" Meridia said, confused.

"Since when I have a fans? I just a simple fan-writer and DeviantArtist!" Ify said.

"That is not simple at all.." Peryite commented.

_To Ify,_

_I'm sorry to tell you, but our dearest friend, Raven, have been kidnapped by a group of horrid demons *cough*Trigon's army *cough*. And Beast boy now dating with Terra… That blond haired bitch we all truly hate.._

_The good news is that Robin finally stopped obsessing with Slade! He instead obsessing with Starfire!_

_Oh wait.. that's not it.. The REAL good news is that Raven at least left you a tape. Maybe it contained some message about how to defeat Trigon?_

_I dunno._

_Wherever you are, Ify. You have to be prepared. We and the others are ready for this awesome final battle. Even Glen stole the company trucks for this!_

_Sincerely,_

_Cyborg and Jimmy_

_P.S: Can I borrow your quarter?_

Ify widened her eyes. Shocked. Because the fact that her very best –dark- friend was kidnapped, her matchmaking attempt was failed, and the fact this is not a fan mail at all! At least, there's a tape sent with the letter for her..

"So.. what's it said?" It was Sanguine, who broke the silence. Everyone looked to her.

"Nothing.. It's just some prank letter from my friend. Anyone up for another fan mail reading?" Ify exclaimed. Everyone raised their hands.


	9. Chapter 9

AUTHOR NOTE: WHERE ARE MY REVIEWER?

* * *

Chapter 9: Mary Sue and a few dying Fan Boys

_Dear Boethiah,_

_Should I get with Naruto, Sasuke, or Garra? I mean Naruto's blond, Sasuke is emo, and Garra's too sandy.._

_I MEAN WHO SHOULD MY OC SOPHIE END UP WITH UH HEHE?_

_-Sophie.. I mean, er, Tobi_

Boethiah sighed, and looked to the camera. "Girl, you've got some issue."

Meridia immediately snatched the letter away from Boethiah, then burned it to the ground.

"What's with all of the Mary Sue letters this day?" Azura thought out loud.

Peyrite shrugged. "Whatever they are, they seems to be created to annoy us more successfully."

"Agree." Everyone agreed.

Suddenly, the door was busted open by a strange looking boy. He wore a very black t-shirt, with a picture of Molag Bal on it.

"OMG! IT'S MOLAG BAL! SQUEEEE!" The boy squealed. Which is weird, because squealing is a GIRL thing…

Molag Bal face palmed. "Everyone! PROTECT ME!" He then hide into the nearest table. The other Princes readied theirs artifacts.. I mean, weapons!

"OH SWEET! IT'S NOCTURNAL! I SHALL RAPE YOU!" Another fan boy followed, this time he wore an iridescent purple shirt, with a picture of Nightingale insignia. Nocturnal face palmed.

"Eeh.. I will hide in the darkness.." With that, she jumped into the corner that filled with shadows, and blending in…

The other Princes groaned at this, and began to fired their power! Ify hide under her laptop, recorded the Princes awesome fighting scene.

* * *

_**Two fan boys and a million hits later..**_

"Phew! I thought that guy is going to literally rape my sister." Azura said.

"But, he WAS going to rape me!" Nocturnal yelled. "Look of what he did with my cowl!" She pointed to her now torn cowl.

Sheogorath already decapitated.. I mean, hit the obsessive fan boy that tried to rape Nocturnal. He looked angry and jealous. And rage. And gruesome. And jealous. And angry. Did I already mention jealous?

"Okay! I'll with read my fan mail!" Sheo exclaimed.

_Dear Sheogorath,_

_so i'm dating josh but josh likes tiffany but tiffany's dating matt. but matt wants to date me, but I also wanna date nathan. wtf do I do omg like the longest relationship i ever had wuz 3 weeks long but that beats most ppl in my grade lol_

_-katie age 12"_

Mephala raised her eyebrow. "Kids this day have more relationship than us."

"And it's so unfair!" Sheogorath exclaimed.

Sanguine sighed, then he decided to read his letter, ignored the fact that his head had a fire on it..

_Dear Sanguine,_

_NO! NUUU!_

_OH NO._

_MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE BROKE UP._

_EVEN IF THIS WAS IN MARCH._

_I STILL HURT FROM IT._

_WHY._

_WHHHYYY._

_I'M TELLING U DIS CUZ YOU SEEM EMO ENOUGH TO LIKE THEM._

_-Mandy_

"What is My Chemical Romance?" Sanguine asked, confused.

Nocturnal tried to not attack him. They were her favorite band.. besides My Little Pony songs and Sheogorath's singing in his bathroom..

She also like Evanescence.. and Paramore..

"My turn!" Clavicus Vile exclaimed.

_To Clavicus Vile,_

_Diggy a hole. I'm diggy diggy a hole. Dig diggy diggy. Diggy dig dig dig dggy. Diggy a hole._

_Diggy diggy dig diggying._

_-Diggie_

Clavicus immediately ripped off the letter. "I give up.."

* * *

AUTHOR NOTE: *Pointing you guys with Rocket Launcher* REVIEW!


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Let's read Fan- Mails, TOGETHER!

Clavicus Vile was fuming in the corner. Probably because of all 'ridiculous' fan mails he got. Everyone tried to cheer him up. Ify was still tinkering her laptop.

Someone have spilled his wine to her laptop…

Everyone suspected Sanguine..

"Alright! My laptop is fixed! " She then glanced to Clavicus. "Hey Clavvy! You've got a fan mail!"

Clavicus didn't budge. Mephala rolled her eyes in annoyance, then she immediately grabbed Clavicus with both of her four arms!

"JUST READ YOUR DAMN MAIL!" She shrieked, high pitched. Dagon's ears suddenly bleed. Clavicus immediately opened his letter.

_Dear Clavicus Vile,_

_I was in Falkreath the other day when I came across this talking dog. He says his name is Barbas. Now my first impression was that this was one of Sheo's tricks. But noooo, apparently he's your dog and I just thought I should tell you what a EVIL BAD dog he is! first he pushed me off a cliff! Then he triggered a fire tap right over my head, I did NOT need a haircut! Always gets in the way when I'm fighting and the worst the absolute worse, HE DIGS HOLES, not in the dirt no, IN THE FLOORS OF MY HOUSE! I left him in my home and when I came back I fell through the floor. So will you please take your dog back? _

_-Dawn_

Clavicus grinned. "Nooopee.. It's your problem now, not mine. You've take care him!" He then laughed mockingly. Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Now it's my turn!" Sanguine exclaimed.

_Dear Sanguine,_

_Wanna get high?_

_-CampsMcCamper_

"No." Sanguine replied, deadpanned. "I maybe an alcoholic, but I AINT NO DRUG ADDICT!" He sing song-ed, or rap.

Then, it was Mehrunes Dagon turn. He was muttered something about he should read his letter or not.

_Merunes Dagon,_

_I, The Divine Demon Ratatosk, am Going to be arriving to Destroy you as soon as you finish this letter._

_sincerely;_

_Ratatosk_

_P.S. Demons are Immortal Creatures that crave destruction, death, and blood more then all of you Daedric Prince's put together. but we are not as mental as Sheogorath._

_P.P.S. Nocturnal, Azura, Meridia. You three are the best of Daedric Princes of the lot._

"This is bullshit! There is no way he could defeat me!" Dagon yelled, burned his letter in anger.

* * *

**Meanwhile, Mehrunes Dagon's realm aka Deadlands..**

A black skinned demon was destroyed everything in Dagon's realm, including his Dremoras, his palace, his throne, his.. chicken doll..

"MWAHAHAHA! NOW, BOW DOWN BEFORE ME! THE GREAT RATATOSK, THE DIVINE DEMON!" Ratatosk had a golden skull mask on his face, wore a black thorn cape. His skin was filled with a yellow tribal tattoos. His bloody claws have successfully clawed 1 million Dremoras in one hit..

* * *

**Back to the Daedric Princes..**

"Okay.. Who wants some lemon pie?" Meridia kindly offered. Everyone, except Namira, Molag Bal, and Nocturnal, raised their hands.

"I'm allergic with lemons." Molag Bal added.

"Lemons are too bright for me.." Nocturnal added.

Everyone ignored them. Meridia gave each of them the pie, except to the said person.

"While you guys eat your pies, I'll read this letter. It's addressed to everyone ." Azura said, started to read the letter.

_To all Princes!_

_Hey, my Name is Meridana, and a fan of you. Sanguines staff is epic, and I love being a Nightingale( epic armor dear Nocturnal). I hope you and Lord Sheo are happy! You all are more than the best in Skyrim, I mean you are the reason why I play it! _

_Lots of love, Meridana :D_

_(P.S.: I apologize for all grammatic erros, Lord Hermaus Mora. English is not my first language..., I hope you are not angry!)_

_(P.S.: Lady Meridia, your sword often saved my life, thank you!)_

_(P.S: Lord Sheo...can you, your dear Nocturnal and I have a tea Party? Whit strawberry cake? Together with Sanguine, of course! Or better, with all the the Princes!)_

"If you think my Wabbajack is epic, Y U NO USED IT?" Sheogorath exclaimed, swallowed the whole pie in the process.

"Thank you.." Nocturnal replied, calmly. But, she was _concentrate,_ staring on Sheo's pants..

"It wasn't a trouble reading your letter. I heard you are a German. Correct?" Hermaeus Mora said.

"Finally! Someone appraised my Dawnbreaker!" Meridia exclaimed. Everyone groaned at her. "What?"

"Your lemon pie is to sour.." Ify stated, gulped down all the mouthwash she have in her bag.. "By the way, everyone wants to go to Meridana's tea party?"

"Nope"

"I need to keep on my schedule."

"Too busy"

"Is there gonna be cheese in there?"

"I'm tired."

Yep. Sorry Meridana. It's they're answer.." Ify said to her camera.

"And.. there's another letter for all of us!" Azura exclaimed. "Except you Vile.."

Clavicus Vile grunted.

_Dear Daedric Princes (Except Clavicus Vile)_

_First, OMG SHEOGORATH YOU ARE FREAKING AMAZING!_

_Second, Nocturnal, for some reason I have 2 skeleton keys! Any advice?_

_Third, Mehrunes Dagon I HATE YOU AND I WILL SEE YOU IN HELL! HOW DARE YOU TAKE MARTIAN AWAY FROM ME!_

_For everyone else: I love your guys quest. They are so fun and inventive that I wish there was more of you! yet again, that might not be the best thing for Nirn._

_P.S: Loved your quest the most I think, Sanguine. Wouldn't mind running into you again. But why did you make me backtrack to Markath? Just asking._

"I AM AMAZING!" Sheogorath exclaimed. "IN YO FACE, JIGGY!" He pointed to the picture of Jyggalag.

Who was posed as a lesser gem.. Ironic..

Nocturnal widened her eyes –for the first time in her existence- in terror. "Two Skeleton Keys? TWO SKELETON KEYS? How? What? " She then shook her head in disbelief. "It must be another console command glitch.."

"What is hell?" Dagon asked, confused.

Sanguine smirked. "I think when I was making that quest, I'm forgot to pay my debt with the bartender in Markath..He was so angry, he even hit me with a giant Dwemer head! I wonder where did he get that. And Temple of Dibella was located in Markath. I want to annoy her priestess and I would like to thank you for doing that for me. " He then sipped his wine mixed with mead. "It was fun hanging out with you!"

Ify's laptop suddenly burned down to crispiness.

"AW COME ON!" Ify yelled in anguish.


	11. Chapter 11

AUTHOR NOTE: Well, here's the funny story. I was bored out of my mind and was sitting in front of my desk, with my sketchbook (I am skilled in drawings..) Then, I've decided to absentmindedly doodling in my sketchbook. And guess what I drew?

A pretty neat picture of Sheogorath and Nocturnal..

.. having some 'hot moments'…

O.O What the heck did I just draw?

I may or may not decided to publish it to my Deviantart account.. what do you guys think?

* * *

**SNEAK PEEK OF THE CHAPTER**

Nocturnal was unwrapped Starburst lollipop with her mouth..

In a very sexy way..

Sheogorath swore that his pants is getting too tight for him..

* * *

**Chapter 11: EPIC BATTLE OF THE CENTURY!**

"Well.. what should I do without my laptop?" Ify pondered to herself. Mephala and Namira already beaten Sanguine for spilling his wine into Ify's laptop. So it's all good now!

"Ehm.. Ify? Someone have sent you a brand new laptop for you, and it comes with a letter to Mehrunes Dagon.." Meridia said. A parcel of laptop and the letter was placed neatly on the desk.

"Who would that be?" Dagon asked to himself as her opened his letter. What inside in the letter was enough to terrorized Dagon into a pieces..

_To the Daedric Princes,  
First, Merunes Dagon, your realm now belongs to me unless you Face me in Unarmed, Hand-to Hand combat in front of all your fans, followers, and the other Daedric Princes'.  
Second, Molag Bal, for what you put Serana through, I challenge you to Unarmed, Hand-to-Hand combat as well.  
Third, Hermaeus Mora, if you were as knowledgeable as you claim to be, the you could have told Dagon that Demons are as I claimed in my first letter and the difference between a regular Demon and a Divine Demon. Also you would have been able to tell Dagon what Hell is and what resides in Hell. That's right Dagon, if the person who wrote the letter that told you that she'd see you in Hell gets her desire, then I'll be there to torment you as well.  
Fourth, Meridia, Dawnbreaker has an better counterpart in a distant world called Hyrule, Which Mora the Librarian can tell you all about. it does the same thing as Dawnbreaker, but is just slightly stronger. Sorry. Still think that Dawnbreaker is epic though.  
Fifth (is this even allowed?), Nocturnal, I might have sort of stolen the Skeleton key from an alternate world where it isn't needed to keep the Sepulcher open. Hope your not mad. And your star, Azura, is the best soul gem anyone could ever have, shame that it's tainted by that unimportant necromancer, what's-his-face.  
Sixth, the rest of you, with the exception of Sanguine, are, in my books, Wild cards, Sanguine is the E.W.C. Also Known As the Extream Wild Card. But Just for my own laughs, HAIL LORD DEATH! Sithis can go get ran over for all I care._

_Sincerely__,__  
Ratatosk_

"AARRRRRRGGGHHH! HOW DARE YOU! NO ONE SHOULD TAKE OVER MY REALM! NO ONE! I SHALL KILL YOU, RATATOSK!" Dagon yelled. He then turned to Hermaeus Mora, who was reading. " MORA! TELL ME MORE ABOUT DEMONS!"

Mora calmly closed his book. "Fine. I'll tell you anything about demons. But, once you know about this knowledge.." He calmly added. ".. Do not even think to challenge one."

"I DON'T CARE! JUST TELL ME ALREADY!" Dagon screeched. Mora rolled his eyes in annoyance..

The other Princes were also as shocked as Dagon.

"I'll take his challenge!" Molag Bal exclaimed. He raised his mace in a warrior like.

"Mora? Can you also tell me about this 'Hyrule'?" Meridia asked. Mora again have to rolled his eyes in annoyance..

"What's with everyone stealing my Key this day!" Nocturnal fumed. Azura then calmed her down.

"It's okay, sister. Maybe because your artifact are far more powerful than all of our artifacts.." Azura said. "It was quite sad that my Star was still stuck in the hands of a Necromancer.."

"Hey! There's something written in the back of your letter, Dagon!" Ify exclaimed.

_Note 1:_  
_A little Gift for Ify, A Brand New, Spiritually-Powered Laptop. It wont Burn, Freeze, Fry, be harmed by Sanguine's Wine, waterproof, wrinkle-wait...that's not suppose to be there... any who, it wont be destroyed even if Molag Bal sat on it while weighing over ... well, infinity. I swear on my Divinity that it is not cured. have Molag touch it if you don't trust me._

_Note 2:_  
_Molag Bal, I Turned and Married one of your EX-daughters of Coldharbour. One Serana, Beleave you know her. She wants me to tell you that she Hates you for what you did to her family, and She will be facing you after I finish with you, You'll have 24 Hours reprieve before you have to face her. She Decided to face you I only try to make the Woman happy._

"THANK YOU!" Ify cheered. She then grabbed the all new laptop, and setting up to her desk. "I feel like I was reborn again!" She added, filled with tears of joy..

"I only accepted his challenge because I'm bored.." Molag explained his reason to Mephala. "I don't mind that he married with one of my Daughters of Coldharbour. I just don't care."

"Sheo? There's a letter for you." Meridia said, face palmed after heard Mora explanations about 'Hyrule'..

_Dear Lord Sheogorath,_

_sheo, i used wabbajack on my summoned skeleton and it became a troll!  
and about being in a realm... It wasn't a request...  
also, NAME CHANGE! i am now... DOVAHKING!_

_Snarfle or now was known as Dovahking_

"YES! Someone finally used my Wabbajack!" Sheogorath exclaimed. "Thank you for your cheesy letter, erm.. Dovahking?"

For the first time in Sheogorath existence, he was face palmed..

"Another letter! And Dagon, you may attack Ratatosk after this letter been read." Azura explained. Dagon just grunted, lowered down his Razor.

_to most of you dadric people, you all suck. sheogorath you are the worst of all. The only okay ones out of all of you are barbas(if he even counts) and vile, their quest is the only one i went on. But on to my question. what in the fuck were you guys doing when the dragons were attacking. If alduin coming back mens the end of time then that means you guys would cease to exist, right?_

_Guest123_

"What a rude letter.." Azura explained.

"WHY! HOW COULD HE SAID THAT?" Sheogorath cried in agony. "I WANT A CANDY!"

"Do you want Starburst lollipop? One of my follower stupidly offered this to me.." Nocturnal said.

Sheogorath nodded vigorously.

"Let me unwrapped this…" Nocturnal said with a smirk. Ify and Azura was face palmed about what Nocturnal was going to do.

Nocturnal was unwrapped Starburst lollipop with her mouth..

In a very sexy way..

Sheogorath swore that his pants is getting too tight for him..

"Here's your lollipop.." She said, handed the lollipop to Sheo. He just stared at the lollipop, eyes widened.

"My pants is too tight.." That's all Sheo could say, with a squeak. Nocturnal smirked. She's just successfully seduced Sheogorath!

Mehrunes Dagon and Molag Bal finally ready for the battle!

"IMA GOIN TO KILL THAT SONOFABITCH!" Dagon yelled.

"Stop yelling near my ears!" Clavicus complained.

Then all on the Princes set off to Dagon's realm, Deadlands..

* * *

**Deadlands, Plane of Oblivion. 20 minutes later..**

A portal of Oblivion suddenly appeared in front of Dagon's castle gate. The Princes came out from the portal. Dagon's face was filled with rage, anger, insulted, wrath, anger, annoyed, rage, did I already mention anger?

When they arrived in Dagon's fields, a black skinned demon suddenly appeared in front of them.

"Finally you came, Dagon! And you too, Molag." Ratatosk said. His golden skull mask is getting scarier in every seconds, as part of the enchantment he made.

"And you must be that DAMNABLE SHITHEAD RATATOSK? I cannot wait to kill you!" Dagon yelled.

"Dagon! Don't let him distracts you!" Molag exclaimed. Feeling uneasy.

Ratatosk's black cape suddenly adorned with flames. His yellow tribal tattoos immediately transformed his skin into a perfect piece of golden white armors. He transformed his giant claws into a gigantic sword, like the one Alex Mercer had in Prototype…

"Enough chit-chat! Let's fight, shall we?" Ratatosk said.

Dagon immediately strike Ratatosk, followed by Molag.

"NYYYYAAAAHHHH!"

* * *

**3 HOURS LATER…**

Dagon was battered down, laying in a pool of his own blood, his Razor was stabbed in his left shoulder. Molag was also beaten up. His face filled with bruised and scars, his mace was stuck into his head, he lose one of his horns, and both of them cannot move.

Ratatosk still standing, perfectly in good shape.

"You guys called yourself the most destructive Daedric Princes? You guys are pathetic. Not single attack from you even hurt me! I'm disappointed. Especially with you, Dagon.." He then summoned his own portal to Hell. "You may keep your realm, Dagon. It's no use to me anymore.." Ratatosk then returned back to his realm.

The other Princes who did not participate in that fight, just stood there, jaw dropped at Dagon and Molag losing.

"It is a good thing that he did not challenged me too.." Boethiah muttered, sighed in relieved.

"Let's just go home.." Meridia said. Everyone agreed with her.

* * *

AUTHOR NOTE: Hope you enjoy this chapter! By the way, should I posted my SheoXNocturnal fan art to Deviantart?


	12. Chapter 12

AUTHOR NOTE: I need some picture for this fanfic's cover image. Would you guys help me? *winked innocently*

**UPDATE: 19-09-13: Rewrote the ending for an easier updates in the future.. (SERIOUSLY!)**

* * *

**Chapter 12: I have no idea for this title..**

Mehrunes Dagon and Molag Bal were covered with bandages. Lots of bandages. Namira and Meridia volunteered to nursed them. Molag lost so many teeth, that's why he barely can speak clearly.

Hermaeus Mora floated between them. "I told you that you can't challenge a demon. Especially a divined demon.." He said, mocked them.

"You didn't tell me that he can summon Molag's ex Daughter of Coldharbour to aid him!" Dagon yelled.

"Actually, he summoned her just to fight Molag Bal, he just finished you off with his bare hands.."

Molag Bal gave him a 'It's true' nod, as he can't speak at all. Dagon grunted.

"Shwef fwlooked dwifferent twhan I fwemebered.." Molag said. "Twhat ghuy jwust turned hwer ifnto a dwemhon.."

"Er.. what did you say?" Meridia asked, couldn't decipher of what Molag tried to say.

"He said, 'She looked different than I remembered, That guy just turned her into a demon.'" Ify replied. "Molag, try to do a sign language if you want to speak."

Molag Bal nodded.

Azura rummaged the letters bag. "Let's read another letter instead."

_To all Daedric Princes,_

_I'm just kidding. You guys are great. Merdia I was going to do your quest but i got stuck up in the sky. (Dose that happen to most people). I honlsty wish all of you guys were also in skyrim. Would have made it alot more perlious, or at least have a quest. (If you are then forgive my stupitudy, i very rarely like to invlove myself with powerful things/people/imoratls). But now on to my new question. If you could have anything in the world then what would it be. And don't bother lying. I know when you're lying. (What I would want is a tracking device for my glasses, i'm pretty much blind without them, and I am always losing them)_

_Guest123_

"And… I thought she wants to mock us again.." Namira said. She then looked to the camera. "We're all in Skyrim, just without Jyggalag, that's all."

"My quest was glitched?" Meridia replied. "Damn Bethesda.."

"What would I have?" Azura said. "Hmm… I would have a unicorn.." Everyone stared at her. "What? She said that anything in the world!"

"I would like to have a lifetime supply of.. maple syrups." Sanguine said. "It must be delicious. Kinda sick with alcohol around me."

"I would like to have a chainsaw that been used by Leatherface." Namira said.

"I would like to have a Spiderman action figures." Mephala said.

"I would like to have Infinity Blade." Boethiah said.

"I would like to have Nyan Cat." Meridia said.

"I would like to have a Ghost Rider's motorcycle." Mehrunes Dagon said.

"Molag Bal said that he would like to have Satan's horns." Ify translated Molag's hands sign. "Hircine would like to have a Green Arrow's bow, Vaermina would like to have a Sandman's hourglass, and Malacath would like to have Thor's hammer.." She continued while reading email from her new laptop. "That's what they said on their emails."

"I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF RAINBOW GLITTER COVERED CHEESES!" Sheogorath exclaimed. "They're so shiny.."

"I would like to have another dog. Barbas annoyed me.." Clavicus said.

"I would like to have 'The Raven' poetry book by Edgar Allan Poe." Nocturnal said.

"I would like to have Jyggalag's crystal sword." Peryite said.

"I would like to have another copy of World of Warcraft.." Hermaeus Mora said.

"Okay, that's what everyone answers." Ify said to her camera. "To me, I would like to have all the copies of Teen Titans comic books."

"Mora, there's a letter for you." Azura said, handed the letter to Hermaeus Mora's.. tendril..

_Dear lord hermerus mora_

_There was rumors that Mephala is ur sister is that true?_

_Also had sheogorath ever came to ur library and messed it up_

_And finally if ur the prince of knowledge can you read minds?_

_From sol1234_

"That is not rumor, that is a fact. Which mean, it is true that Mephala is my sister. Check Wikipedia. And about Sheogorath ever visit my library.." Mora glared to Sheogorath. "..It also true. As you can see, he is the reason why Apocrypha have many slimes and tendrils all over that place.."

"Come on, Morry! Your realms need some touch of madness! I was about to put some rainbow glitters to your book!" Sheogorath exclaimed.

"No." Mora asserted. "And of course, every Daedric Princes have the ability to read mortal minds, not just me. Except to each other and another celestial beings."

"Molag Bal! You have a fan mail!" Ify exclaimed. "I'll read it for you."

_To Molag Bal,_

_I just want to let you know, I love you._

_You seem like that guy who was a fetish for dirty talk? Right?_

_I'd love to put you in the mud..._

_And then poop on your face! And the grass has cow shit all over it!_

_And then we roll in some maggots!_

_Badass_ person_

Molag Bal sweat dropped. He then signed something to Ify.

"He said that you need to fuck off.." She said, also sweat dropped.

Everyone are also sweat dropped. Nocturnal broke the silence. "I sounded like Nancy Drew.." She muttered, awkwardly. Everyone ignored her, but Sheogorath.

"Really?! I sounded like Sentry Bots!" He exclaimed. "And a little bit like Morry.."

Hermaeus Mora slapped his tendril to his forehead. " We have the same voice actor, Sheo.."

Ify broke the argument. "Okay.. So I shall ended this episode and.."

Suddenly, a portal conjured from outside. A female figure flew and smashed Ify in the process…

"DAMN YOU IFY! Y U STOLE MY SPELLBOOK!" The figure screamed.

"Oh! Hey Raven! " Ify awkwardly giggles.. "Eh.. what spellbook?"

Raven slapped Ify with her awesome dark demon power. "MY SPELLBOOK OF AZARATH! THE ONE YOU USED IT TO CONJURE A PORTAL TO THIS WORLD!"

"Oh yeah.. That spellbook. Right.." Ify nervously laughed. "You mean the one you burned it?"

"What do you mean I burned.." Raven looked to her spellbook, which laid on the grass, burned from her speed impact.. "Aw crap! Now I can't conjure a portal back to our world!"

"But, how do you get here?"

Raven gave her a glare. "I tracked your soul and my spellbook essence. But, since my spellbook is gone, I can't find a trail back to our world."

"Whatever.. I like being here! All the Daedric Princes are being friendly to me! Unlike you guys.." Ify said, deadpanned. All the Daedric Princes came outside to see if Ify was alright.

"What do you mean?" Raven asked, monotonously.

"You know what I mean! You and Robin keep yelling at me! Cyborg was broken and you all blamed me! I didn't do anything! You treated me like I was some annoying little kid! I'M YOUR WRITER, GODDAMNIT!"

"You just a delusional little kid, who think that you write our story. You.." Raven stopped before grabbed something from her cloak pocket. "..forgot your medicine.."

"Oh right!" Ify nervously laughed, before she tugged the medicine.

"And.. is that Nocturnal?" Raven asked, eyes widened.

"Yep!"

Raven suddenly conjured a notebook and a pen on her hand. "OMG! NOCTURNAL! I'M YOUR NUMBUH ONE FANS! SQUUUEEEE!"

Needless to say, Nocturnal slapped her own forehead in annoyance. "Great.."


	13. Chapter 13

**AUTHOR NOTE: Somehow this fanfic become cross-overed with Teen Titans…**

**Chapter 13: Again, This Chapter left Untitled..**

* * *

**Earth, your home**

"Dafuq? Now Raven from Teen titans appeared in this fanfic?" You asked to yourself, as you read this chapter...

Then a Dremora suddenly popped in front of your refrigerator and ate it.

"Again, Whatdafuq?" You exclaimed.

* * *

**Planes of Oblivion, Moonshadow, Azura realm.**

Ify tried her best to pried off Raven from Nocturnal, with the help from Sheogorath, Sanguine, and Clavicus Vile.

"Okay! Who's have an iron chains?" Ify asked.

"Me!" Boethiah said, handed an iron chain.

"You don't have to chain me!" Raven said, as she released Nocturnal from her hugs. "I'm good.."

Ify huffed. "Fine.. besides, you're stuck in Oblivion with me." She then looked to her laptop. "Let's read some more fan mails, shall we?"

Azura and Meridia immediately dived in to the mailbags..

"I found one for you, Boethiah!" Azura exclaimed.

_Dear Boethiah,_

_I know you're secret._

_You're a Transformer. Don't lie!_

_I love you._

_Please carry my babies._

_Love,_

_Johnny Gat_

Boethiah scratched his own nose in annoyance. "Do I even looked like a robot?"

Molag Bal gave a silent laugh. (remember, he lost many teeth..). Boethiah punched him on the face. Meridia screamed.

"BOETHIAH! I already patched his face up!" She exclaimed. "Now I have fix it all over again.."

"Ohh! I have a fan mail!" Sheogorath exclaimed.

_Dear Sheo,_

_Why can't you just grow up and finally admit to everyone your feelings to Nocturnal. I promise all the Daedric Princes will APPROVE your relationship with her._

_Anyways all I have to say is either tell them the truth or I will come after you with my special bloody knife and cut your balls off in your sleep._

_Just remember I have killed 666 Dremoras.._

_Sincerely,_

_A Female Serial Killer who just so happens to be your fan!"_

Mephala rolled her eyes. "Soo.. You have a feeling with Nocturnal?" Everyone snickered. Sheogorath blushed nervously.

Nocturnal gave her a 'Gibb Slap' with her shadow power.

"Cool.." Raven admired.

"I think Sheo will have his balls cut off tonight.." Sanguine awkwardly muttered. Sheogorath paled.

Nocturnal threw Sanguine into an Endless Pit with her shadow power.

"Again, cool.." Raven admired.

Ify just smacked her own forehead. "Nocturnal, you have a fan mail."

Nocturnal just nodded, while giving everyone a dark cold glares.

_To Nocturnal,_

_The po-po be afta me._

_Before they kill me..._

_I just want chu to know..._

_I love you._

_From Mustard._

Nocturnal immediately ripped off the letter. " I don't like a guy who's named after a condiment. Not my type." She then looked to a now shredded letter. "Besides, he was chased by cop. Coward.."

Sheogorath smiled.

He poked her. "You know.. I'm not a coward. And, I'm not named after a thing you can digest, usually along with burgers."

"I know.."

".."

".."

"WELL, TO GET OVER THIS TWO AWKWARDNESS.. " Clavicus Vile said, rather loudly. "Let's return to read our fan mails!"

Azura decided to just read her letter.

_Dear Azura,_

_We love you. We love you, We love you. We love you. We love you. We love you, We love you. We love you. We love you. We love you, We love you. We love you. We love you. We love you, We love you. We love you._

_Love,_

_The Merman Society._

"Eh.. What is a Merman?" Dagon asked.

"Merman is basically a male version of mermaids.." Hermaeus Mora explained.

"Oh!"

Azura just immediately burned off the letter. "I'm allergic with seafood.."

Everyone sweat dropped at her.

"My turn." Mora calmly said.

_To Hermaeus Mora, Daedric Prince of Fate and Knowledge,_

_If I may ask, mi-lord, may I enter Apocrytha? I wish to learn more about the origins of both man and mer, as well as discovering more about Nirn itself. I am a follower of you, mi-lord, and upon studying the Oghma Infinium, I believe that within your realm, more secrets about the universe can become of use to me. Not trying to sound like a power hungry maniac, but this is my one wish, to you at least._

_I humbly await your response,_

_Yours sincerely,_

_Chief Wolfee_

_P.S: Someone tell Jyggalag I said hello; seriously, does this guy ever get any attention? Any at all?_

"Hmm… Maybe. It depends about whether you are a madman.." Mora glared to Sheo. ".. or you are one of those power hungry maniac.." He then glared to picture of Miraak, who was wearing a Dragon Priest, riding a.. giant mudcrab.. "..or you just a normal fans. I'll allow you into my Library if you are a fanboy, but if you one of those two other, I'll annihilate you.."

"Should we do something with Jyggalag?" Azura asked. Everyone shook their heads. "No? Oh well.. Sorry, Jyggalag is NOT our favorite person.. "

"He doesn't deserve any attention." Dagon added, poked a picture of Jyggalag, who was wearing a pink tutu (forced by Sheogorath of course)

"Okay.. That's the answer.." Ify said to the camera. "Remember to send more fan mails to your favorite Daedric Princes!"

Mephala smirked to Nocturnal. "So, Nocturnal? Are you sure that you.."

Nocturnal immediately sent Mephala into an Endless Pit with her shadow power.

"Cool.." Raven admired.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14: Were.. what?**

Hircine appeared after he successfully hunted a white.. unicorn. The Daedric Princes were eating cupcakes (provided by Azura) and drinking tea (provided by Meridia)

"Okay! What did I miss?" Hircine asked, then looked to Raven, who was sitting next to Ify, reading book. "Who is she?"

"Apparently, one of Ify's friend." Mephala said. " She's Nocturnal's fangirl."

"I know."

"You know?" Sanguine asked.

"Yeah! Most of Nocturnal's fangirl are goth and emo people." Hircine said.

Nocturnal dropped her tea cup, motionlessly. Her face was mixed with shocked and annoyed looks.

It was Ify who broke the silent. "Time to read some fan mails!" She then gestured to Meridia. "Your turn!"

_Dear Meridia,_

_YEEESSS! They're making new Harry Potter movies._

_YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW_

_ALL LIKE_

_'Voldemort! You came back!'_

_'I came HOME.'_

_Potterhead_

Meridia sighed and rubbed her temples. "This is why I don't read book that much!" She then threw the letter to the window, which flew right to Clavicus's eyes.

"OUCH! MY EYES!" Clavicus cried. Everyone ignored him.

Nocturnal then opened her letter.

_Dear Nocturnal,_

_Sheamarlyn cannot stop annoying me! Any advice?_

_Nocturno, your genderbent companion._

Both Ify and Raven snickered at the letter. "I wonder what this male version of Nocturnal looked like!"

They quickly browsed the internet and found the picture. Nocturno was very handsome, he was tall with broad shoulder and he was shirtless, with black hood covered his head and wore a black pants (doh!). His violet masculine eyes, exotic six abs, pale skin (not like the one on Twilight!) and handsome face structure already enough to send all the girls around the world into a dream world..

"He's soo hot.." Meridia fanned herself, due to the hotness of the picture. "Nocturnal! Your male version was too hot!"

Nocturnal just rubbed her temples in annoyed, as all the female Daedric Princes were ogling over the picture.

"He also have a long black night hair! Like Nocturnal's! Only more manlier!" Ify shouted. They began to shrieked fan girly..

"Aw come on! " Hircine exclaimed, annoyed as he saw Azura was ogling over the picture, not over him!

Wait, what?

"Okay! I'll read the letter for everyone!" Namira exclaimed, after wiped the blood from her nose. Emm…

_Hi I'm a fire mage. I think it's cute how nocturnal and sheo like each other. I mean Darkness and Maddness go perfectly together! Anyways I have completed every deadric quest and have become leader of the theives guild, the dark brotherhood and the companions. Also I am a nightingale and have returned the skeleton key. I have saved every mortal and divine from Alduin. He was an utter weakling. Because of the small services I have done for you and all of Tamriel can I come visit sometime. I found this old musty book with some spell for a portal to oblivion. Oh and sheo, I always bring the wabbajack with me exept in some quests because it's so heavy. But it's fun turning guards into chickens or sweet rolls. Hope to see you soon! Now I have to go and kill someone who did nothing to me._

_Your devoted follower_  
_Fyrusfairy_

Everyone looked to Nocturnal and Sheogorath, who were blushed madly. They looked nervous.

"I already know that." Hircine said.

"You know?" Sanguine asked.

"Yep! Have you seen the way they looked to each other? The way they acted awkward at each other? Sheogorath's way to gain her attention? Nocturnal's looks every time Sheogorath being seduced by another woman? I can't believe you guys are too dense to realize that. Except Azura." Hircine said.

"He's right. Ify and I already discussed about that on the phone, a few days ago, before I'm here." Raven said, monotonously. "After all.. THEY ARE MY FAVORITE PAIRING!" She began fan- girling again! Until Ify and Namira knocked her head with a table.

Azura looked to Nocturnal, with a serious face. "Is that true?"

Nocturnal just nervously nodded. Azura then placed her hand to Nocturnal's shoulder. "I approve it."

"What?"

"I approve it." Azura said again. "I approve your relationship with Sheogorath. Do I need to say more?"

Then the two Daedric sisters hugged to each other. Everyone cheered them.

"Aw! You two reminded me with one of the werepigs!" Hircine exclaimed.

Everyone stopped, dead track. They eyed to Hircine, who now looked nervous.

"Were.. what?" Boethiah asked.

"Werepigs! You know? The one from Amnesia franchise?"

Everyone sweat dropped.

"That's PigMen. Hircine.." Clavicus Vile said. "And what is the relation between PigMen and this moment?!"

"I dunno..?"


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: Wassup, Green Elf!**

**P.S: Not trying to offend any green elves out there.**

Another bag of fan mails somehow manage to appeared in front of Ify's face.

"I can't.. *heergh*.. breath!" She exclaimed, but got a piece of paper stuck on her throat. Mehrunes Dagon and Sanguine finally lifted the bag out of her mouth.

"Phew.. I thought I'm gonna die.. in Oblivion.." Ify muttered, but sighed in relieved.

"Well, if you die in my realm, your soul will perish forever." Azura said, which stopped Ify in a moment.

"..Forever? My soul can't go to Heaven? " Ify said, shocked. Azura just simply nodded.

Dagon confused. "What is Heaven?" Hermaeus Mora slapped his own.. forehead?

"Okay, time for another fan mail." Meridia said. Everyone immediately agreed with her. "Boethiah, your turn."

_To Boethiah,_

_Hello. Um, well I'm gay. I have no idea how to tell my parents._

_I'm just hoping you can give me some tips?_

_Shaun H_

Boethiah just looked at the camera. "Um.. well.." He mumbled. "Uh, I don't know any lesbians or gays, but it is their choice and/or fate-I believe that's how they were born to love-on who they love. So, your parents should accept you. This isn't your fault, it's no one's! Speak up for yourself, Shaun."

"Since when you give an inspirational answer?" Molag teased. Boethiah just ignored him.

"Wait? I thought you lost so many teeth? How come you can talk?" Ify asked, confused.

"Daedra have a rapid regeneration skill, duh!" Molag just simply said that. Everyone nodded.

"Okay? Clavicus, it's your turn now." Clavicus nodded.

_To Clavicus Vile,_

_Um?_

_Where am I?_

_Chester_

"That doesn't even make any sense." Clavicus then threw the letter into the fire pit. Everyone just shrugged.

"My turn." Sanguine said.

_Sanguine,_

_I want to cuddle with you. I want to tickle you and lick your face. So let's make lurve 2night baby._

_Luv, Deathstroke_

_P.S: I've been sleeping under your bed._

"EUUUGHHH! WHAT THE OBLIVION?" Sanguine exclaimed, then threw the letter to Mora. "I will not use my bed again!" He then sulked in the corner of the room.

"How about.. you use my room instead?" Mephala said, with a smirk. Everyone eyed at her, strangely. Sanguine suddenly getting excited..

"Sure did!"

"No!" Mora quickly strangled Sanguine. " Don't. You. Dare. Sleeping. With. My. Sister!"

"No fair! Sheogorath and Nocturnal can sleep together in one bed!" Sanguine protested.

Sheogorath and Nocturnal both blushed in deep red.

"Because I'm not their brother.." Mora replied. "And I AM Mephala's brother, so STAY AWAY FROM MY SISTER."

Sanguine sulked again in the corner, including Mephala..

"Ehem Continuing to my show.." Ify said, rather loudly.

".. Thank you for ended this wonderful chaos.." Raven said, with her 'Raven Monotonously Tone™' and her 'Raven Famous Sarcasm™'

Each sold separately.

"You're welcome ?" Ify sweat dropped.

_To anyone who reads this,_

_HI!_

_The Reader_

"Is it me or why we seemed to receive many weird letters this lately?" Azura commented.

"Karma?" Namira answered.

"No one curse on us, the Daedric Princes!" Peryite exclaimed.

"I did not say 'curse', am I?" Namira said. Everyone just shrugged.

_To Mephala,_

_MY PYJAMAS!_

_IT SOAKED!_

_WITH NOODLES!_

_NOOOO!_

_Garry_

Mephala just rolled her eyes. "Yep, it's getting weirder.."

_I CAN FLY!_

_Signed, Superman_

Ify weirded out. "Since when Superman wrote a letter?"

"Good question, Watson.." Raven said, again with sarcasm.

"Okay! What's with the sarcasm, Raven!" Ify yelled.

"It's just my thing. Is that a problem?" Raven said, sarcastically.

"Nocturnal doesn't DO sarcasm." Ify replied. Raven shocked.

"That is correct.." Nocturnal said, crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Burn!" Meridia chuckled. Nocturnal looked to her, annoyed. "What?"

And it was Mehrunes Dagon's turn.

_Mehrunes Dagon,_

_I know what to do. When I have to poop. I got to the potty, pull my underwear down._

_Then I sit and wait. Sit and wait. Sit and wait until the poop PLOPS down!_

_Bye, bye, poop! Bye, bye, poop!_

_Then I pull up my pants, wash my hands,_

_and then I do a potty dance!_

_James_

"Congratulations." Dagon replied. "..You learned how to do potty by yourself.." He then ripped the letter off. "..Sarcasm.."

"Okay Raven!" Ify began to put on her 'Scolding Face' on. "Is this something to do with Beast boy?"

"It is nothing to do with Beast boy." Raven replied.

"Did I already tell you –through phone- that if you likes Beast boy –I know you are, don't lie to me- DO NOT THROW HIM TO THE OCEAN! And any dangerous stuff." Ify said. Raven just put on her hood, cover her face.

"I. Don't. Like. Him." She replied.

"Come on, Rae.. I'm tired seeing both of you and Beast boy getting into an argue, Every. Single. Time!"

"He's an idiot and a moron, who also try to get me smile, that is quite a masochist act. If you telling me."

"He just tried to get your attention! Like.." Ify looked to everyone in the room. ".. Like Sheogorath!"

Sheogorath just blushed red.

"And.. What's with throwing him to the ocean, anyway?" Ify asked.

"It's just my thing." Raven replied.

Suddenly, another portal can be heard on the outside. The Daedric Princes and two hu.. I mean a human and a _demoness_ quickly rushed to outside.

A figure walked out from the portal. The figure is..

"OMG! IT'S A GREEN ELF!" Sheogorath exclaimed. "Or is that a green colored Snow Elf?"

No, the figure is not a green elf. It's..

"A really sick Dark Elf?" Sheogorath asked.

NO! THAT FIGURE IS..

"Beast boy! What on Earth are doing in here!" Raven yelled. Ify just slapped on her own forehead.

"Dude! I'm tried to find you! You just disappeared without a reason!" Beast boy argued, he then looked to Ify. "IFY! I missed you!"

"B? How do you be able to conjure a portal?" Ify asked.

Beast Boy shrugged. "I dunno. I just saying some random word and poof! A portal in front of me!"

"Do you still remember the words you said to conjure a portal?" Raven asked.

"I don't remember.." He replied, sadly. Then he looked to the Daedric Princes. "DUDE! IS THAT SHEOGORATH? ARE WE IN OBLIVION? THIS IS TOTALLY COOL!"

Nocturnal face palmed. "Not again…"


	16. Chapter 16

**SNEAK PEEK OF THE CHAPTER: **

Azura slowly picked her letter and slowly opened it. Because she was sad.

Slowly..

And slowly..

And slowly..

And.. *SMACK!*

"Don't make my sister slowed down! " Nocturnal yelled to the author of this story…

* * *

**Chapter 16: Burning the Garden**

Ify was fainted, Raven was pulling Beast boy away from trying to 'bear hug' Hircine. The rest of the Princes just watching this scene unfolding before their very eyes.

And by 'bear hug', it means a literally green bear try to hug you..

"GREEN TEDDY!" Sheogorath exclaimed, also literally.

Needless to say, Ify had some fan mail episode needed to be done..

Meridia decided to just throw some water to Ify's face, to wake her up.

"Time for some fan mails!" She exclaimed. "This is for you, Sheo!"

"YAAAY!"

_Dear sheogorath _

_I'm concerned about ur chamberlain Haskill cause I'm wondering how's he doing and no offense of all people isn't he boring for your realm?_

_For all deadra this is my list of favorites_

_Hearmorus mora: despite being a prince if knowledge the way u deceive ur victims just epic_

_Sheogorath: u are the most insane man ever in a good way_

_Azura: ur different from other deadra and i really like tough karma_

_Nocturnal: ur title fits u_

_Molage Ball: u r good with torture_

_Mehrunes Dagon: u were so close conquering tamerial_

_Merilda: death to zombies_

_Bothia: u just plot _

_Sanguine: for making my character drunk_

_Malacath: ur a tough guy but too plain_

_Peyrite: what deisease have to do with order no wonder ur a weak of the princeses_

_melphala: u just whisper seriously _

_Varmiea: thats for lying to me about Eraduar(u said he would kill me)_

_Calvucus vile: ur too mean to Brobos_

_Hiricine: so ur just basically a hunter as in like Elmer fud_

_Narmia: sorry miss ur last cause u are disgusting and very disturbing_

_From Sol1234_

"HEY! My name is not spelled like that!" Clavicus yelled. So does the other Princes, except Sheogorath, Azura, Nocturnal, Mehrunes Dagon, Sanguine, and Malacath, which their names did not misspelled.

Malacath just appeared in this chapter for the purpose of this fanfic..

"And I still can't believe that everyone thinks that I'm disgusting!" Namira exclaimed, while eating a whole human heart. Meridia watched her in disgust. "What?"

"This one is for you, Hircine!" Ify exclaimed, after drying her shirt.

_Dear Daedric Princes,_

_Hello, if I may ask, Lord Hircine, did you create all were-beasts? I know you created werewolves and bears, but were-vultures and a few other werebeasts don't sound like things you'd create. Also, isn't it ironic that you, the wolf, love Azura, the moon? Keep trying, you'll get her soon enough. Oh and Mephala? My brothers and sisters would like to send you a message: The Morag Tong are gone, long live the Dark Brotherhood! Hail Sithis!_

_Sincerely, kingofsecrets15, a were-bear assassin. _

"Yes I did. I'm the one who created all the were-beasts! Were-vultures? Actually, I'm planning to create that. And.." Hircine suddenly realized something. " WAIT? WHAT? "

"This fans claimed that you were in love with Azura." Mephala stated. " And destroyed my group of assassins. Damnit.."

"NO! AW HELL TO DE NAW! I'm not in love with Azura! Eugh! She's sickening sweet! Eugh!" Hircine lied. "And roses? Really? What's with the love roses anyway?"

Raven and Ify just narrowed their eyes in weird looks. Beast boy decided to shifted into a mouse and hide under the Daedric couch™. Malacath decided to ignore all of this. Nocturnal just narrowed her eyes, while Azura almost crying.

Almost crying..

Almost crying..

Almost*SMACK!*

"Yeah! We get it!" You yelled, after smacked this author..

"Azura? Are you crying?" Meridia asked.

"No…" Azura said, lied. "I just sweating through my eyes.."

Nocturnal looked to her sister, sadly. Azura does looked hurt by Hircine's words.

Raven and Ify decided to discuss about how they could go home.

"I could just create some portal to random dimensions, but it would takes a year to reach Earth." Raven said.

"I don't like that idea. How about we read Beast boy's mind to find out what kind of words did he say to conjure a portal to Oblivion?" Ify suggested.

"I don't like it. And besides, I don't think Beast boy have mind.."

"Okay? And.." Ify then stood up and said. "Azura! There's a fan mail for you!"

Azura slowly picked her letter and slowly opened it. Because she was sad.

Slowly..

And slowly..

And slowly..

And.. *SMACK!*

"Don't make my sister slowed down! " Nocturnal yelled to the author of this story…

_Dear Azura,_

_Well, you're kind_

_You're pretty and smart._

_No, no-_

_You're beautiful and brilliant_

_You're my celeb crush or Daedra crush.._

_My name is Jalen. I live in Skyrim, and I'd like to meet you at Bannered Mare at Whiterun at 4:30 P.M on Loredas 18__th__ of Frostfall. I'll greet you. I'll usually come there every day around that time to write some poetry._

_If you don't come, it's alright. You might not even get this letter. I usually come there every days anyways._

_Bye, and thank you for taking the time to read my letter._

_Love,_

_Jalen._

Her cheeks tainted red, and Hircine's jaw dropped, Azura smirked. It was a perfect way to get over Hircine, wasn't it? She looked to the camera, and said. "Well, Jalen, I'd love to go out with you. You might knew how to treat a girl."

"But, Az-" Hircine began to argue.

"Shush."

"But I like y-"

"Shh." She hushed. "I can date whoever I want. And now, Hircine, that'll never be you."

_That'll never be you._

Hircine's face fell. He could not believe of what Azura just said. He then lowered his head in defeat.

"I bet 100 gold that they will fight for a long time." Clavicus piped up.

"I bet you 2500 gold they'll get together in a week." Sanguine said.

"I bet you guys my favorite shirt that they'll make up tonight!" Ify said.

"It's on!" Clavicus and Sanguine agreed.

Nocturnal could sense something weird about the sender of Azura's letter. Something not right. But, she couldn't put it. And then, she looked to Mephala's letter, which written 'DON'T OPEN IT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE, PLEASE ' She saw it was Jalen's handwriting.

"Mephala! Your turn!" Meridia exclaimed.

_Dear Mephala,_

_You're beautiful._

_I like boobs, too._

_Jalen._

Hircine tried to hide the fact that he was right about this dickhead, Jalen. Azura's jaw slightly dropped, and she's sternly clenched her fists. Her face reddened in anger. Everyone doesn't like that look on Azura's face. The last time she was angry, she's end up cursed every Chimer into Dunmer..

Hircine looked straight to Azura. "You wanna meet him tomorrow?" He asked, sarcastically.

"He would probably have done something horrible.." Hircine whimpered. "I could never be the same if he did."

Azura looked at him, wanting to cuddle him, but she just rolled her eyes.

"I'll arrange some _conversation _with this Jalen.." Nocturnal said, clearly angry. Everyone also doesn't like when Nocturnal was angry. The last time she was angry, she end up.. burned all mortals (the one she was angry to) and their gardens too.

Mostly nightshade gardens.

"You know what Azura? Why don't you just admit your feeling with Hircine? It's kinda annoying that you keep saying that to me. All the time.." Nocturnal said, making Azura's blushed really red and every one's jaws dropped.

"Is this true?" Meridia asked. Hircine looked to Azura too, looked curious.

Azura muttered some words. No one can hear her.

"What?"

"I said.. I LOVE HIM!" She yelled. Every one gasped. Raven 'emo-ically' gasped.

"Is that true?" Hircine asked, tried to confirm this.

"With all of my heart." Azura said, almost crying.

Hircine widely smiles-under his stag mask. "I also want to say that… I LOVE YOU TOO! And hunting." Every one gasped. Except Nocturnal, who was smiling at her sister.

"Do you.. wanna go out with me?" He asked, which Azura quickly hugged him.

"OF COURSE I DO!"

Ify cheered. "HOOORAY! I won the bet!"

"Aw crap.." Clavicus and Sanguine muttered.


	17. Chapter 17

**AUTHOR NOTE: Wait? My grammars from last chapter really **_**that **_**bad?**

* * *

**Chapter 17: Why Thieves?**

**Earth, Jump City**

"Okay Team! We have two Titans gone missing, and a civilian!" Robin retorted, like he always _does_..

"*GASP!* But, the civilian is our friend, Ify!" Starfire gasped uncontrollably.

"Yeah, yeah.. Whatever, so we need to track the villain, who kidnapped our friend! Cyborg? " He asked.

"Nope"

"Excuse.. me?"

"They weren't kidnapped, you _fool! _ They just disappeared! " Cyborg argued.

Robin laughed sheepishly. "Eh.. right.." He then looked serious again. "We have Raven's mom, who currently still crying on our sofa. "

Starfire was comforting Angela Roth, also known as Arella, who indeed was crying for the lost of her daughter.

"My.. baby.. *hiks!*" She cried. "Why I didn't heed Noccie's advice before? HUAAA!"

"Erm.. who's Noccie?" Cyborg asked, confused.

"My college's roommate!" She bawled. "Noccie was right! I could just give Raven to her so she can keep Trigon's influence away from my baby!"

"You gone to college? I thought you.." Robin get slapped by Arella.

"I went to college in _Azarath_! " Arella sobbed. "In order to be the Priestess of Azarath, you need to be graduated from _their_ university first.. And I was 3 months pregnant when I was there.."

"Wait? You're a Priestess?" Robin asked.

Arella slapped Robin again..

* * *

**Oblivion, Moonshadow..**

Raven and Ify were busy reading the book about portal. Provided by Hermaeus Mora of course.

"Do you think we can create _this _portal?" Ify asked.

"Ify.." Raven replied, tiredly. "..That's a Black Hole.."

"Ooh!" Ify grinned sheepishly. "Yo! Time for some fan mails! And it's your turn now, Nocturnal!" She exclaimed, making the Daedric Prince of Luck to stopped made out with Sheo..

"What? Already?" She asked, disbelief.

_Dear Nocturnal,_

_I have a question for you. A friend of mine asked me why you chose thieves to guard your Skeleton Key, who would be a lot more likely to steal it from you than honest people. I wasn't sure how to answer her, so could you help me out? You are my favourite Daedric Prince and I want to be able to defend your actions!  
And a random question of my own for all of the Daedric Princes: which of the ten races of Tamriel are your respective favourites, and why?  
- Konahrik_

"Reason why? Because thieves are cunning and smart. They know which one they could steal and which one they could not. And of course.. they are so smart, they know that if they steal something from me, they will get cursed forever.." Nocturnal replied. "Hope that answer satisfied you.."

"Favorite race?" Azura said. "I'll say Dunmer.." Everyone gave her a look. "What? I still call them favorite even though they were cursed by _me_!"

"Nord! For their strength and brutality!" Boethiah exclaimed.

"Argonian! For being awesome swimmer!" Clavicus Vile exclaimed. "And I love swimming."

"Bosmer! And I have no idea why I liked them!" Meridia exclaimed.

"Orsimer! Because I am their god!" Malacath exclaimed.

"Altmer! For all the conflict they made!" Mephala exclaimed.

"Khajiit! For being looked like a beast!" Hircine exclaimed.

"Any races that have a superior intellect.." Hermaeus Mora said.

"Nord! For their brute attitude!" Mehrunes Dagon exclaimed. "And sometimes.. Dunmer.."

"Redguards! For being an awesome vampire!" Molag Bal exclaimed. Everyone gave him a look. "What?"

"KHAJIIT! BECAUSE THEY TASTED GOOD WITH CREAM!" Sheogorath exclaimed.

"I'd say Nord! Because it was funny to see them get drunk!" Sanguine said, while sipped his ale.

"All the races, unless they're tasted good." Namira said. Meridia stared at her in horror.

"Imperial. They seems to be good in order.." Peryite said.

"Imperial.. Because of their loyalty and because I can easily blessed them with Lucks.." Nocturnal said.

"What? No one likes Breton?" Beast boy asked. Everyone shook their head. "Oh well.. sucks for being Breton then.."

"I recall that Vaermina likes Breton.. I don't know if it's true or not." Ify reminisced. "Mora! There's a fan mail for you!"

_Dear Mora,  
I understand that you don't want Sanguine to sleep with your sister but...why should you care? I know that It might be strange for a mere mortal to say this but you need to watch "the Big Bang Theory". Most importantly the one with Sheldon's sister showing up uninvited. a few pointers from the mortals for this one, k? Besides you and Sheldon are soooo alike. By the way, Mora, did you know that you that you look like from spiderman, just super deformed? Just saying?_

_-ThrillSeeker5__  
P.S.: Sanguine...You owe me one. ONE BIG FREAKING FAVOR YOU HEAR ME!_

"Mephala is my sister.." Mora replied, deadpanned. "And as her brother, I need to keep her safes.."

"_Really?_ More like to 'locked her in the safe'.." Mephala piped up. Mora ignored her.

"Do I looked like Dr Octopus from Spiderman?" Mora asked, in disgust.

"Nope! You more like a green colored Plasmus." Beast boy replied, received a high- fives from Mephala. Mora just grunted.

"Sanguine. What did you owe to Thrill?" Ify asked.

"Um.. " Sanguine looked nervous.

* * *

**Earth, Jump City**

Arella was curled in the corner, Robin and Cyborg were arguing, and Starfire just being pacifist.

"My Raven.." Arella sobbed. Starfire decided to ask a question, in order to snap Arella out from her sadness.

"Ma'am? I still do not quite understand who is this 'Noccie' person you have talked about earlier? Is she your best friend?" Starfire asked.

Arella stood up. "Yes, she was. Until, we graduated.."

Starfire gasped. "Is she's not staying with you in Azarath?"

"Apparently, she came from another dimension, like the rest of other students in there.." Arella shrugged. "She wants to learn about shadow magic, while I'm attended the college so I can be an Azarathian Priestess.. " She gave her a sour smile. "But that was in the past.."

But Starfire wants to know more.

* * *

**AUTHOR NOTE: I hope enjoyed this chapter. And Noccie is not my OC. She's also owned by Bethesda, but I own her nickname…**

**Do you know who Noccie is? **

**And yeah.. More Teen Titans Crossover for everyone..**


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